Disney Pooh Dropkicks Milne Pooh....Again
Disney has screwed over a lot of classics in it's time, a lot. But, I think the one that's gotten the most beat downs is Winnie-the-Pooh. And that relentless beating goes on.
I don't like Disney. There you are, I said it. In fact I have a longstanding boycott of Disney. Not just the films but just about anything else they are associated with. I could go into details, but that would be an entire article alone. Leave it be with the facts that I don't respect what they do to literature or how they want to have a monopoly on childhoods.
When Disney acquired the rights to A. A. Milne's children's stories most people were either of two things, bubbly and delighted, or horrified and disgusted. You'd probably have to put me with the latter group. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot anyone could have done about it. Disney didn't knock on Christopher Milne's door and say, "Excuse me, Christopher, errr, Robin? We'd like to buy your childhood for 80 bobzillion dollars and corrupt the living hell out of it." I think it was more to the tune that the author's son had little to no liking for what he called "that bear", and had no qualms with someone taking it off his hands. (He has written a rather depressing collection of memoirs called The Enchanted Places on more or less the lines that his father made money off his childhood and how difficult it was being Christopher Robin.)
Ok, I'm not going to go into the history and list off all the things they've done, but I will give you some examples. (I am basing this on my experiences in America, your experiences may differ.)
First of all they changed what all the characters looked like. Oh they may have taken the likenesses from Shepard's drawings but they Disneyified them to death. Example, why would Winnie-the-Pooh wear a t-shirt that said Pooh on it? He's not in the Mouseketeers. (Correct me if I'm wrong, it has been a while since I read the books.) In fact most children wouldn't recognize the actual Pooh if they saw it. And there in lies my problem. Sure, it's great to make a large audience aware of a classic piece of literature (unless it's Oprah doing it), the problem with Pooh is that kids don't care about the books. They have heaps of cartoons and full length films to beg mommy and daddy for.
And as for the effect? Here are two quotes, actually said. "I think Classic Pooh is so ugly." and the other, by the editor of a college newspaper, and the holder of a degree in English, "Nobody is going to know who A. A. Milne is, I don't even know who A. A. Milne is. You'll have to use a better comparison."
Listen, I'm not trying to come across as a bitter Mr. Know It All. I just get irritated with the fact that Disney acquires the rights to things and then shamelessly destroys them. They may not think they are doing so, but they are. If you want more proof then do yourself a favor and read Peter Pan and then watch the Disney version...
Where am I going with all this? Well, Disney has decided to give Pooh another kick in the gut. How? Well, they are introducing a new character. (If it was a TV show you could say it had jumped the shark.) This is nothing new for Disney, they love doing it. But, to Winnie-the-Pooh? No, it's not a new animal, that would almost be realistic. It is a 6 year old girl, in place of Christopher Robin. Why on earth would they do that? Well, Nancy Kanter of the Disney Channel has an explanation.
"We got raised eyebrows even in-house at first, but the feeling was these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air that only the introduction of someone new could provide."
Anyone else spot the oxymoron in there? If the characters are timeless then why the hell do they need anything? That's alright it gets worse.
The reason they are introducing a new character is because they are creating a computer generated series called "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" that will debut in 2007. Huh? Tigger gets top billing? What about Piglet? What the heck are they doing to these so called timeless characters? They are doing whatever they want. Because they have no scruples when it comes to making money. And Winnie-the-Pooh makes money, a lot of money. One billion dollars annually. Yes, that's a b.
So, the relentless destruction and blind eye towards morality continues in the land of the mouse. It's all about the benjamins in that crib. On my planet I'd say that a billion dollars a year was enough, but then again I'm not a worldwide money making empire built on taking money out of parent's wallets. Oh, bother, perhaps Nancy Kanter can leave us with some words of hope for the future regarding this new round of Pooh destruction.
"Christopher Robin is still out there in the woods, playing," she says. "We hope people will fall for this new tomboyish girl. The last thing we want to be is the ones who brought the franchise down."
Those, my friend, are famous last words.
K. Panda
