The Annual Playing Of The Christmas Music - Top 10
It's made out of environmentally friendly fibers.
If you have managed to avoid hearing Christmas music this long into the 2005 holiday season you either don't leave the house, or are very fortunate. Thankfully, there is actually some good Christmas music to listen to, instead of the usual torrent of blasé re-recordings that, if it weren't once a year, would never get played.
I offer to you, for this festive time of year, my list of listenable Christmas songs. Just find them all, burn them on a CD, print out the above cover, and you're in business.
If there is a link for the song it is on iTunes. We aren't getting any commission, it's in case you want to listen to the 30 second sample. They are linked to the US iTMS, so you'll have to switch if you are using a different one.
10. Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC
C'mon people, it's the best Christmas rap ever, and that's saying a lot. The best line has got to be, "Mom's cookin' chicken and collared greens, rice and stuffin', macaroni and cheese..." That's enough starch for the whole DMC crew. Even the video was def.
9. Father Christmas by The Kinks
The classic anti-Christmas song. I'm not sure if it was even meant to be a Christmas song, but then again if you even casually mention Christmas in a song it automatically becomes part of the genre. I was so bummed when my copy of "Come Dancing" on cassette got eaten by my car stereo and I had to go without till it showed up on CD a while ago. Back before...iTunes.
8. The Little Drummer Boy by Johnny Cash
Say what you will, what with the movie coming out and all, but the man was made to sing this song. It may in fact be the only decent version of this annoying as hell song. Cash singing, "The ox and lamb kept time..." is priceless.
7. Fairytale of New York by The Pogues
This song was great, the greatest even. Till they mass marketed it on all those Best of Christmas albums and everyone started listening to it and telling you how great it was. It sort of lost a bit of value after that. I still like it a lot, but when I hear it in the grocery store I think of Shane McGowan and feel a bit of sorrow. It's even gone so far as to be covered by Ronan Keating, that is a shame.
6. Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight) by The Ramones
It's short and it's simple and it doesn't carry quite the message of peace, joy, and happiness as most of the others. Sure every Ramones song sounds the same, but that's a good thing isn't it? And anyway they do manage to mention Rudolph. For reasons that I still can't figure out.
5. Oi! To The World by The Vandals
If you buy one song off of this list buy this one. It's worth a dollar. I swear. It is probably the only punk Christmas song that you can actually listen to. (Although Bad Religion singing Silent Night comes close.) It is such a good song that you could actually play it year round, but that will decrease the value. No Doubt did a rather popular cover of it for one of those Very Super Special Christmas albums or whatever they are called. Which automatically makes it the best No Doubt song...
4. Christmas In The Trenches by John McDermott
The first time I heard this I was at my uncles place on Christmas. We were standing around drinking beer when it came on and everyone just stopped. We called the radio station to find out what it was and ask them to play it again, but it turned out the show was previously recorded. So we wasted a lot of time trying to guess the name and find it on what was then Napster. Which we finally did. In the end, at like 2 AM, I ended up ordering two copys, of the CD that it was on, from Amazon for the hefty price of $26 a pop. I hope my uncle still has his copy.
It's a song about the Christmas truce during WWI, and is among other things one of the most depressing/emotional Christmas songs you'll ever here. At least go in and listen to the preview. Believe me it's worth 9 kronor or one dollar, if you like ballady Irishmen singing sad songs about military history. There is a better version out there than the one on iTunes, but you'll have to spend 26 bucks on the CD to get it.
3. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by Bruce Springsteen (Live)
Oh, to have been at one of the concerts in New Jersey in a December when he sang it. There are a number of versions of this floating around, some better than others. The ones with the most audience participation seem to be the best. This guy really is the hardest working man in show business, nobody puts as much effort into a fun little cover as he does. You can't help but feel good when he says, "He's flying down the Jersey turnpike..." and the crowd goes nuts.
2. The Beatles Christmas Records
Well, I don't know where to tell you to find them...but I imagine BitTorrent would be a good place, cough, cough. I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but my wife is. So when we got a hold of these a couple of Christmas' ago it fast became a tradition to listen to them on Christmas Eve. They aren't so much songs as the Beatles being forced to sit in a studio and make stupid stuff up, thank their fans unconvincingly, and occasionally do an impromtu song that makes no sense. These really capture the essence that was their sense of humor, and really are quite funny. And we can assume they were "chemically aided" for some of the craziness. Lennon is classic and probably more himself than you usually see. The early ones are the best (1964-66), by the last one (1970) they were all in seperate places phoning it in and Yoko was involved.
1. Merry Christmas From The Family by Robert Earl Keen Jr.
Funny, sad, and true. It is probably the closest you'll get to a modern Christmas carol without killing it. It is the story of the typical Christmas gathering involving making drinks, eating, and having to run to the store every hour to get something that someone needs. I look forward to Christmas just to be able to listen to it. There are also a number of pretty cool live versions if you can find them.
So there you have it. Merry Christmas, and all that.
K. Panda
