Enough is enough...action must be taken.
This week was the week. It's been in the mail for ages
now, but this week it arrived. Maybe it had to do with having a clear
head after vacation, maybe it was the weather, maybe it was the fact
that all three of Stockholms free papers have degenerated into utter
hogwash with a spattering of oomska.
Alas, enough was enough. When the headline is "This is how much Swedes (ie you the reader) drink" for the fiftieth time this year you really have to come to the conclusion that -
- Someone is paying them (Systembolaget, the government, Castro..)
- Jack shit is going on at the moment in town
- Making you feel bad about yourself is a top priority, if you don't
drink too much then you probably have some hither to unkown disease
that involves symptoms like consciousness, breathing and the ability to
read block text.
And if that's enough there was an article today about the dreaded
ability of teens to get ahold of Klass II (low alcohol) beer. Again.
Again. Again. Again. Again. We haven't forgotten about Karlstad, and we
haven't forgotten what it's like to be 16 either. Personally I think
it's a greater tragedy that teens have the ability to go and see the
utter shite that is currently in the cinemas. But, that is another
matter...
The other matter. Who reads these papers? What is the demographics? I
don't see a lot of the kids reading them, and yet according to one of
them the top rated movie amongst it's readers is - and I'm serious here
people - Rush Hour 3. I'll put that in bold: Rush Hour 3.
If you didn't think the appocalypse was upon us already - since
umm...this whole global warming thing is mentioned more often than
Carolina Gynning, which is quite an accomplishment - then this is
surely a sign that the end is nigh. The country that gave us Ingmar
Bergman, and recently lost him, has fostered a group of people that
believe Rush Hour 3 is the best movie worth paying half a day's income
to see.
Pandas. No more pandas. Panda births are not news. Pandas have always
had baby pandas and they will continue to do so until their fur becomes
fashionable again. At which point there will be at least a 2 page
spread in all three free city papers with pictures of celebrities
showing off the latest in panda. Paris Hilton will be mentioned and
shown in panda, however it will be slightly sarcastic since the same
idiots that made her into what she is have since gained some muturity
and want to be on the, "I'm not going to talk about her anymore."
bandwagon. You heard it here first: panda, the must have for this
winter season. Comes in black and white and is available at H & M.
No more crappy comic strips please. PLEASE. Just print 5 Rocky strips
everyday in all the papers and spare us the agony of things that do
nothing but belittle the world of daily comics. Foremost: not funny and
badly drawn. Seriously, scan some aardvark poop and put that there. We
may actually laugh at that.
Once again I have managed to do nothing but complain here, but I'm sure
you can see through that and understand that the newspapers in Sweden
hold a rather unique position compared to other countries. They have a
power that is unmeasurable in regards to influence over the population.
Even when free, whether or not people want it or not, they will have an
amazing effect on how readers think and behave. Not unlike this
website...
To end on a positive: Alex Schulman has gained my respect. Despite my
opinions of Planet Stureplan, the guy deserves to be whatever it is he
is. He is the only columnist amongst the whole lot of them that
actaully makes a point and doesn't preach on egotistically about
shopping for a new mobile phone and how hard it is to have a baby.
Remember ladies, black leggings are big with the stars, so I suggest you go for that look. Even if you hate it.
And so, from now on, I will be reviewing the papers. Here.
K. Panda
Back from the dead.
