The Official Christmas Present of the Year: A Poker Set?
Every year the elves over at HUI (Handelns utredningsinstitut - The Commerce Investigation Institute?) make an official selection of what will be this year's particular Christmas gift here in Sweden. In previous years this has been things like, flat screen televisions, DVD players, cookbooks, tools, and umm...a hat. This year they have selected a poker set, by this they mean two decks of cards and a bunch of chips packed into a case.
I'm not really sure what to make of it. No, wait, I do. It's crap. It is a horrible selection. Why can't they just bite the bullet and say mp3 player? I mean honestly. I guess this is good for card and chip manufacturers but for the rest of us it doesn't bode well. Remember that when you see a sort of rectangular box shaped package under the tree with your name on it.
What is the deal with poker anyways? I don't know how a card game can have a comeback, but poker hasn't been this popular since the 1870's. It's new found popularity can only be rivaled by country music's return to the air waves in the early 90's, when it seemed everyone had "gone country". Or maybe the absurd NASCAR revival that is still going on in the States. Wait a second, is this a pattern....
Nonetheless, it is impossible to miss the fact that poker is big, in all forms. Bigger even than Sudoku, which does not have a celebrity version on televison. The internet poker thing exploded as if someone had just thought up gambling. And now there are people who play poker on the internet for a living. Jesus, people, how much poker can one man play? Yes, there's gold in them thar pokers. Just count up the number of poker website commericals you've seen on tv lately, even CNN has them, they even show them at the movie theater before the movie. Not to mention the absurd number of adverts in the papers and god forbid, the amount on-line. Every now and then I get directed to a site that I think sounds interesting, only to find that I am then redirected to "5's A Wild" poker room, or some such shit. Please no more, I don't want to play poker, I just want to be left alone.
Ok, back to the original point: How crap the poker set gift is. Now, I'm not a parent, which is probably good. But, I really can't see myself enouraging my children to gamble away their milk money by playing poker. And I'm serious here. They have computers in schools. Kids have access to them. Kids play poker. Think I'm lying? Google: kids, poker, school, computers. Well you'll have to dig a little deeper. The site I found that had an article about the growing number of children that are playing poker on-line actually displayed 3 ads for on-line poker websites. Way to go bullystopper.com, I hope that google ad revenue is worth the irony.
Alright, mini kids aside. What if you are a hard working, hard drinking, adult who enjoys the thrill of the table? Then I suppose it's alright. But, wouldn't you already have a poker set? Or at least a deck of cards? And in reality how often are you gonna use this thing? How many times are you gonna have "the guys" around for poker night? Money says, once. One time. Some time in January you'll do it. And all "the guys" will bring over the poker sets they received and you'll have to play a round to determine whose set you're going to use. And when the night is over Jack will say, "Alright guys, peace out, poker night next Thursday at my place." And it will never happen. It just won't. Your poker set will take it's place next to your dusty copies of Pictionary, Boggle, Scrabble and that electric card shuffler you forgot you owned. And someone will be out anywhere between 200 and 500 kr for the effort.
So do yourself a favor. Ignore what HUI says. Now and forever more. Buy your spouse, loved one, secret Santa, boss, parent, sibling, postman something they'll actually get some use out of. Not to mention something that won't involve the phrase, "Thanks, I really wanted the official Christmas present of the year." Might I recommend this.
K. Panda
