Now Everybody Knows Who Denmark Is

Well, you have to hand it to him, if Denmark was looking for a little attention he got it. I'm sure Denmark wishes he hadn't done what he did, but now he's got to lie in the inferno of a bed he's made.

Last year Denmark was still sort of anonymous. He occasionally showed up at parties because he was really good friends with H. C. Andersen and Sören Kierkegaard. But for the most part he kept to himself and just lived life as it came. He was a content little fellow and he made really neat plastic toys that resembled little bricks. Occasionally, he would make a pastry and name it after himself.

But, all that has changed. Now, everybody knows who Denmark is. Denmark is in the papers, and on TV, and all over blog and forum land. Even if you don't know Denmark personally you can tell your friends that you do and they'll be impressed. I mean I've met Denmark a couple times, and I really didn't think that he would do what he did. But he did. Well, he sort of did. Actually he didn't, but a friend of his did and Denmark didn't say, "Hey, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Other people aren't going to like it."

Now that it's gone and happened, Denmark has to stick up for his friend and defend him. (Denmark has his heart in the right place, but he his also pretty stubborn I hear. I think he's a Taurus.) I feel kind of bad for Denmark. He really has dug himself a pretty big hole. Nobody wants to hang out with Denmark anymore. People don't even want to hang out with his brothers Norway, Finland, and Sweden. Which isn't good since the four look a lot alike if you don't know them that well. I'm really not sure how Denmark is going to get out of this one.

Usually some of Denmark's big bad ass friends would come and help out. Unfortunately one of them, named France, tried to help but only made matters worse (for both of them). And his biggest baddest friend of all, U.S.A., can't help him because he has enough problems and really doesn't need Denmark making it worse. So, U.S.A., went and told Denmark that he was wrong, and that they (U.S.A.) would never ever do anything as stupid as what he did.

What did Denmark's friend do? Well, he went and said a bunch of really bad stuff about a guy who is pretty popular. And this guy's friends really really didn't like what he said. Sure his friend should have kept his mouth shut but he's a guy that just says stuff to get attention. The majority of the time people usually just ignore him. Even Denmark ignores him a lot of the time. The problem is that Denmark's friend didn't really know the guy that he was insulting, and he really didn't think that this guy's friends would hear him when he made the remarks he made. (As I said this guy has a lot of friends.) And worst of all he had no idea how angry these friends were gonna get. And believe me they are angry.

How angry are they? Well, they are burning effigies of Denmark for one. They are also boycotting everything that Denmark makes. They are harassing Denmark's friends and even some of his cousins. They are making death threats and telling Denmark that he is an out and out terrible person. And I even heard that someone egged his house.

Poor Denmark. If only he'd told his friend to shut up before he said those things. If only Denmark would just say he was sorry and make a formal apology. But, as I said, Denmark isn't that type of guy. He respects his friend and doesn't think it would be right to betray him. (Denmark did however say that he would never have said the things his friend did, but this didn't really help his cause.)

Denmark, if you're reading this, I feel for you man, but you're in one hell of a mess. Just make sure you don't do anything to make your volatile situation worse, cause sooner or later you're gonna get everyone into a whole hell of a lot of trouble. And you don't want to be known as the guy who started it all.

K. Panda

About what Denmark's friend said, according to a mutual friend known as "the BBC"
Denmark's friend's blog "Jyllands-Posten"
What Denmark's friend said...